Thank you to everyone who came out to the show at The Virgil! It was a packed house- filled with love and the Soft Glow of Electric Sex! The band elevated and the audience was captivated. I felt beyond blessed to share such an intimate and powerful musical night with you! A beautiful beginning of the next chapter….
photos and videos coming soon!
BESOS!
i remember when my parents first got divorced, to survive my mother worked 4 jobs: the standard 9-5 at Westinghouse, she sold nu-skin, did real estate on the weekends and at night, and sang in a cover band for a little extra cash. she’s the kind of person that if you compliment something of hers she’ll offer to give it to you. she will seriously give you the last dollar in her pocket. if i ever needed anything, she’d find a means to make it happen. her generosity knows no bounds… it’s quite amazing how thoughtful, kind, open and giving she is especially considering what she’s been through.
my mother endured physical and verbal abuse, and multiple infidelities by my father… i remember the cops coming to my house a few times during my childhood… things got ugly and dark and violent… yet she somehow always radiated such a loving energy and light. not that she’s perfect, as no one is perfect. i think sometimes she almost loved my father too much or perhaps herself not enough with how she held onto the relationship… but she IS this beautiful force. an example of strength and love. my mother taught me to see the best in people. even the good in my father-his brilliance, his creativity, his work ethic, his talent and humor. she helped me to find the love, light, and lessons in the complexities of life.
sometimes she would help me find the lesson with a beating… yes i got hit with belts, a phone, or whatever else was in my mom’s hand when she was upset and rightfully so (i was a little bad ass child- in middle school especially)… the summer after 6th grade i started smoking and stole cigarettes from the market… after my mom discovered this, i remember her making me go the manager and admit through tears my crime and return the open package of cigarettes… pretty soon after i stopped smoking… i also recall her finding out i was staying at a boyfriend’s house when i said i was somewhere else and her pulling me out of his house by my hair and driving down the street at 90 mph on the way home, beyond livid… perhaps physical violence wasn’t the BEST way to handle these situations but i appreciate my mother being so tough with me. she didn’t play around when it came to me acting right. no matter what happened she always expressed so much love for me, always… with what i witnessed as a child i could’ve turned out very differently. instead of getting into serious trouble, i flipped the script and became a straight A student and super involved in school… i don’t know if that would’ve happened if my mother didn’t love me as much as she did.
other wonderful things about her…she has great manners which she also inspired in me. we are grateful and express it often. she truly appreciates nature in way that i’m just starting to… she calls me everytime she sees a deer in her back yard and describes it’s beautiful nature so lovingly. she is one with the earth. though she’s surrounded in the conservativeness of the south, i know a bit of hippie still resides within her. she loves art and food and throwing parties and dancing and music. she’s a beautiful singer. she taught me that singing is all about singing from your soul. she doesn’t even comprehend how people sing for other reasons… it’s all about the love….she wears her heart on her sleeve. she has such a refreshing honesty and genuine sweetness. she radiates! she’s like a mini version of the sun, with all that light within her. my favorite moments are when she lets herself shine to her fullest capacity.
oh and did i mention that she is absolutely gorgeous- she has golden flawless skin, green/blue eyes that sparkle with warmth and sometimes mischief, the longest legs in the world, she’s curvy, has perfectly wavy hair (not like my out of control waves lol), and she could seriously be a hand model…. oh and she has the perfect eye brows that she’s never once had to pluck, as well as the world’s most adorable nose…
i love that my mother supported me in finding my own way of being spiritual… i think she’s the only catholic i know that believes that reincarnation is a possibility. my mother believes that God is man. i believe God transcends having a sex. but she is cool with me believing how i believe. and we both value having a spiritual connection in the love that we share.
my mother encouraged me to take a stand against racism and sexism which i appreciate. though she now says i can be too “extreme” or “radical” with my platforms. but i love that she first inspired that within me. and i think she still has some of that radicalness within her…
other random love thoughts… she believes it’s this differences in people that makes us all beautiful. she appreciates perspective. my mother is so sweet sometimes that people don’t realize how intelligent and deep she can be. she can get philosopical. i miss talking with her. i hate that we live 3,000 miles away. i hate that i only saw her twice last year. i need to hurry up and become a superstar so i can buy her a beautiful little house in santa barbara so i can see her more… i digress…
i could go on and on with how wonderful she is… there are so many little special things about her that a blog can’t do her magnificence justice…
mama if u read this (i know you’re not into going online that much) i want you to know that you mean the world to me. your beauty, your depth, your heart, your strength inspire me. everything that is good within me comes from you. i love you.
this weekend inspired me. san francisco is magical… the streets have this energy of nostalgic free love mixed with electric bright colors and an undescribable grittiness…
we drove up the coast in purple rain (my little elantra, purple rain is the name of the paint color- though it is a perfect name for the car considering i’m a huge prince fan). the weather was perfection: the sun shining, the ocean glistening, music playing. on the way up we stopped in san luis obispo in an attempt to visit an old high school friend at a cafe she worked in (we just missed her!), and took a wrong turn only to end up down a country highway with a GIANT beautiful turkey in the dead center of the road. i was complimenting the turkey on its beauty “wow you’re so beautiful and colorful” as it ran up to purple rain in attack mode! and did some damage on the car as we hauled ass out of there! we then stopped in carmel by the sea at the most INCREDIBLE restaurant- pacific’s edge i think it was called. it overlooked the sea- it felt more like we were on top of the sea and we sat down to dinner just in time for the spectacularly golden sunset! we partook in the most delicious food and the best wine of my life! en serio! we were so underdressed but it was ghetto fabulous! it was so super fancy that they folded our napkins when we got up to use the restroom! lol! i love that! i’m so easily amused! after dinner we headed up to the bay and stayed with my beyond hospitable, warm, and lovely aunt and uncle.
the next day we rocked the city! it was pouring but it didn’t stop our exploration! we had mini adventures all day- in chinatown, little italy, the mission, and took in two amazing exhibitions at the art museum. one was of amish quilts- i know sounds kind of lame- but i found a whole new respect for the amish people from their art. what a lesson in open-mindedness for me. they are channeling some psychedelic art! the colors were electric and the patterns made the designs seem 3D, those quilts spoke languages! we got to see some very cool, dark, obscure tribal art from papa new guinea as well as africa. we rode the metro, the bus, took taxis, walked miles and miles and miles. the taxi driver taught me how to pronounce “ladybug” in cantonese (don’t ask why)… we walked down height street – i love the vintage stores! and some older punk asked dre if he had ever shit his pants and he so cooly answers “no man i haven’t” and the guy responds- “well obviously you haven’t done a lot of drugs” ….lol! and ended the day at my prima’s sushi restaurant- where we experienced art in the form of food. the place had bizarre anime porn playing. it was crazy!!! and enjoyed a swank hotel room with a spectacular view of the city courtesy of my very generous aunt and uncle! (plug: check out my aunt’s book “secret lives of husband and wives” coming out in june!)
the next day was glorious! we brunched with fam and explored little obscure record shops- one was a maze-like closet sized treasure chest, where i purchased “sex education for children” yes inspiration for the ep! you’ll see! it’s bad ass!!! i love the street art, the murals of the city- they’re everywhere. i got so inspired by the energy of the city that i formulated the whole concept of the EP! i’m so excited about this creation and all that is will stand for.... i’m so grateful for the inspiration! speaking of gratitude, we went to the famous cafe gratitude where the incredible jon marro’s art is everywhere! (he did the album art for M.U.S.I.C. and is genius!) i love that everything on the menu is “i am loved” “i am beautiful” “i am vibrant” or other positive, happy, high frequency adjectives and states of being! we went to the highest point in the city called twin peaks and drank in the beauty of the city from the highest heights... dre and i then headed to the place with the “best hummus in the US” according to our friend daniel magala papa (hummus connoisseur) called little jerusalem. sooooo much incredible food. i’m accepting the fact that i’m a foodie… i could travel to different cities just for the food! we ended the night by going out on polk street (the place for debauchery in the city)… i <3 san francisco! it has this electric energy that i really resonate with!! california is such a diverse state, i feel so fortunate to live here! what a beautiful way to celebrate my love’s bday! 
wishing you inspiration wherever u are in this world!
besos!!!
happy birthday day to my love
“every now and then say ‘what the fuck,’ what the fuck gives you freedom, freedom brings opportunity, opportunity makes your future…” -risky business….
what the fuck is a more aggressive form of detachment, at least in my mind… as we all know, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy… self-sabotaging fools…. and yes it is brilliant to be enthusiastic but sometimes it’s our detachment from something we desire that brings it to us… almost magically… it’s as if the space created allows the desire to breathe and grow and flourish…. isn’t if funny how we get the audition we’re not so hung up on… or the guy… or whatever it is we overly covet… when we’re not sweating it so hard!?!
i was talking to my girls sharmila and aneesah about this today… about how with our dreams yes we have to focus to achieve but we also need to keep things fun… (or u almost forget why you’re doing it… because u LOVE it!… nothing brings u more joy!)… and we also have to keep an element of freedom in our creating the lives our dreams (this freedom makes us limitless…and open to infinite possibilities/directions/ideas/inspiration)… but now i’m thinking of adding a little bit of detachment to my situation… a little bit of “fuck it”…
just finished my 5+ hour manifestation meeting!!!! LAAFS!!!! incredible night! we got deep with our missions! i feel like changing the world Oprah style! today was POWERFUL! the manifestation blog from yesterday i originally sent out as an email to friends and had so many super positive responses… the message hit a core with people… inspired them to do things they would normally not do… think of things in new ways… reconnect with their spiritual essence. what’s even more amazing is that several people moved by the message passed it on to their loved ones who in turn responded with enthusiasm, inspiration, and love!!!! and it hit me that by me making the choice to put this positivity out into the world i was a catalyst of love… and by those who were inspired choosing to pass on the knowledge and inspiration they are catalysts and so on and so on and we all can be a part of this current of love… receiving and giving and receiving and giving! it’s fucking beautiful!!!!! made my day!……then as i was eating some brazilian pineapple that the rock band (that’s recording in Dre’s studio) left over here, i was missing my brazilian man… and he called me and we had a conversation that rocked my world… he was dropping spiritual knowledge/understanding/compassion on me gandhi style, opening up in ways that shocked me… a layer was peeled.. and it showed me the infinite possibilities and perspectives in love relationships… and i wonder what brought this energetic shift and powerful realization, what was making him hold me in this higher reverence? i guess sometimes people have to be away from you to truly appreciate you and understand you in profound ways…i mean how many people truly understand us? or was he feeling my experiences and thoughts and feelings here and somehow tapped into that energetically? fascinating! i couldn’t get off the phone with him (though i was running late in cooking dinner and my beans did suffer- they have to sit for at least an hour for ultimate sabor)…i’m excited to keep growing and learning in love! i feel like i’m meant to teach others of love though i may not get to everyone in this lifetime. and speaking of love… though we did speak of our INCREDIBLE accomplishments of our group and our focus for 2010…we got on the subject of sex…. as should be expected with these sexy goddesses! i love how candid some of the group is… i mean nothing is off-limits and i adore it… the questions came up – if a man is more endowed is he typically less talented or motivated with going down on a woman? (cause he feels he doesn’t have to work to please a woman)… and does size really matter?… also, isn’t a man who is uncircumcised more sensitive in feeling? … the answers were great! i wish we had video taped this conversation… real sex would’ve blushed… what a bizarre magnificent day… full of currents of love, break throughs, good food, deep conversation… i love life! we all have had those moments in life where we feel like hell but we truly create our lives… i’m living proof of that… i’ve developed consciously the beauty that is my life. now i must rest. i have a hula hooping video audition tomorrow! so random! i love life! wishing you the ultimate creation of beauty in your life!!!!
(untouched) photo by megan finley, styled by michele chantel, makeup/hair by tawney bevacqua, art by julia rauda
Andree Belle LIVE @ Dakota Lounge! 11.14 8:30pm
soul/latin/funk deliciousness!
recently i’ve been freaking the f*ck out!!!! and it seems that some close to me are having little mini nervous break downs of their own… feeling stagnate, depressed, frustrated, heart broken, misdirected, unsure, etc. etc. etc…. i just want to remind everyone that you are not alone and you can turn it around… i’m doing so at this very moment… reclaiming my power… and you can reclaim yours. yes sometimes u gotta just feel that sh*t and it sucks… sometimes u have to be down… but we have to ultimately make the decision to pick ourselves up and TURN IT AROUND… do what u need to do…cry, scream, write, create, sing, dance, make love, cook, do yoga, go sky diving, go hiking, be in nature, go to the beach, take a vacation, SAY AFFIRMATIONS, read an inspiring book, spend time with loved ones, spend time alone, get silly, let others know what you’re going through, be more compassionate, seek understanding, make a list of everything you are grateful for, treat yourself, find healthy detachment to the situation, have those long deep conversations over coffee and work through it (thank you Sharmila Rose)… do what u need to do to get feeling good again…whatever that may be for you.. and know that the hard times, the challenges are just helping you grow…and become… more of the amazing being you already are… and happiness is closer than you think… :)
you are light. you are love. you are stronger than you know.
a girlfriend of mine shared a story with me today about animal instinct in relation to human’s dealing with love and self preservation… a squirrel when being pursued by a predator can not think of/focus on/be concerned with sex… and while a squirrel is having sex it is completely unaware of predators… thus the struggle between love (** see note below) and self-preservation… humans have to find this balance between the two which can be a daunting task…. i’ve been dealing with this myself lately in a different sort of way…. i love that people call on me when they need words of inspiration, motivation, encouragement, guidance, love, support… but lately, especially lately, i’ve felt i need their guidance, love, words of encouragement, support… so for me lately it has been about taking time out for myself… i can’t give when i have nothing to give. i have to recharge, get re-inspired, motivated, excited, and feeling spiritually full so i can extend and give myself the way i desire to and be a bright beam of sunshine for others… i’m always the friend that reaches out, that calls first, that suggests making plans, that checks in… i’m always the girlfriend that will do anything and everything for her man… i’m always the family member that calls or emails to keep the connection going… but i can’t always be that person… sometimes in life we have to receive in order to create balance, in order to give (energy, time, love, whatever…) and that’s where i’m at… i’m in a mode right now of receiving… it might last a day, a week, a month.. but i know i need to be rejuvinated… and by me making this conscious decision… i’m self-preserving but only in order to give more love … it’s good to think about… in different facets of our life… where we give too much or too little… maybe we have people in our life that aren’t good for us and we need to create space (or rid them from our lives all together) in order to self-preserve or self-love… i’m learning to find the balance in my life… i want to give everything to those i love… but i’m finding that i have to give myself love first. cliche but true.
**note: obviously sex and love can be two different things…i just find it an interesting analogy…
finding balance
