this past Easter, i had the great privilege to partake in a sacred plant called ayahuasca, a plant considered a gift from God that has been used for 1000s of years by the indigenous for spiritual growth… this sacred plant is POWERFUL…there is a huge misconception of what ayahuasca is, some claim it is like a crazy hallucinogenic drug… and those that know me, know that i don’t do drugs… after my research (i read “breaking open the head” and many, many articles -positive and negative about ayahuasca) and personal experience, i believe this plant is a healer…
my love, Dre, and i went with his mother, Juanita, who is a part of the santo daime (which literally means “give me”), a loving, supportive, open-minded community that conducts ceremonies using ayahuasca, which are called works. the works are typically several hours long and consist of drinking daime (ayahuasca) and either sitting or dancing while singing hymns and playing maracas, or sitting in silent concentration. the benefit about doing ayahuasca with the santo daime is that you have a community to support you with your experience, it is more collective…
as i went to take my first drink of the bitter tea, i thought/prayed/held the intention “teach me.” i really want to learn/grow/evolve/get past my pain/understand/transcend… at first, i didn’t feel anything… 20 minutes later i was hit hard… they don’t call it work for nothing! i was having a hard time singing the hymns (which are a mix of Christian/African/Native influences)…then i saw white and gold and purple light surrounding Juanita and i. it was beautiful… the daime told me things- in ways i can’t begin to articulate. it showed me the purpose of certain friendships in my life. i realized that certain friends did not remain in my life because of their materialistic nature and their influence over me and that if they had stayed in my life- i wouldn’t have evolved in the same way. it told me that my friends aneesah and shar are important friendships for the evolution of my soul… ironically, though i was (in a way) participating in a religious practice, i came to the understanding that we are connected to the divine and we need not allow religion or dogma to take that direct connection away from us. (though spirits, saints, the sacred practices are to be respected and honored)…i saw clearly how there are infinite ways to interpret our experiences and infinite universes (the multiverse). the plant was teaching me that we all want to connect but it’s essential to connect authentically… i felt how deeply i love Dre, how he teaches me to love deeper, to go beyond what i thought love was and how to understand love in a new way… i felt how women should have babies for the right reasons not just because it’s expected… in fact, we should not just go along with what’s expected of us in this supposed progression that is considered “correct” – i saw how important it is for everyone to honor their own path… i got a little freaked out when the right side of my body went numb. i couldn’t move it and i thought i was paralyzed… i was thinking i’ll never dance again!… it was painful, heavy…i took a breath… Juanita said paralysis never happened to her but she’d heard of it happening to others for a brief period and that i would be fine… she said to breathe and concentrate on the hymns… later i looked up in my book (you can heal your life) and saw that the right side of the body is representative of the masculine- i immediately knew this was the daime’s way of helping me to heal my past issues with my father. eventually it subsided and when it came time for the 2nd dose of the daime i opted to take a smaller amount. this time i was inside myself more… observing, feeling…. i felt like i was inside everyone around me that there was no separation… i could see and feel deeply all of their beauty and pain…also, through the constant music during the ceremony, i experienced in a whole other way music’s power to connect with the divine. which connected me even more to my purpose to sing! 
the daime isn’t for everyone. you have to be ready for this profound experience. and you have to be with people you trust…it’s not something i feel i could do on a regular basis… but to each their own…i would be open to trying it again and see what it teaches me… it opened me up… in fact for days i had a hard time putting myself back together again… i would feel/take on/empathize/be inside everyone’s energy even more than i already do (which is a lot!-i’m super sensitive to people’s energy)… but it’s a good lesson for me- to learn to be empathetic/feeling, to understand others but to protect myself as well. overall it was a valuable healing experience… good for the evolution of my soul… love and blessings to your soul on whatever path it takes you…
Juanita’s art entitled “Motherboard.”
