4 part randomness: pop that bubble, LA IS a small town, unnecessary insults, and walking the walk

i quit my job today. this was before i noticed that there was negative -$8.71 in my account… but i would’ve done it anyway. i was debating on what to do on my way to meet my gorgeous PNC for a hike at runyon. she waited patiently as i made the call before our hike… they wanted to know why i no longer “felt that i was a good fit” and i told them the job didn’t align with my spirit… the phone was breaking up too, it was the MOST awkward way to end things… ha! but it was great to start the hike with a feeling of LIBERATION! even though i don’t know where my next source of income will be coming from, i’m ok with the uncertainty. i embrace it. i’ve been here before. and now i’m beyond ready for the next chapter. i’ve reached the glass ceiling and i’m about to break through… like in willy wonka and the chocolate factory, when they take the elevator through the glass roof. but instead of the glass shattering it’s going to be like popping a bubble, effortless and easy (right sharmila!)…

i’m starting to feel like LA is a small town… the streets and places and even faces are all so familiar now. i know all the different neighborhoods and their vibes. i guess it doesn’t hurt that i’ve moved like 10 times since i’ve lived here…. but it’s more because i run into people i know constantly. it’s weird. how can the 2nd largest city in the US feel like a small town? not in the way that in small towns everyone is super friendly but just that i feel like it’s almost incestuous. maybe incestuous isn’t the right word… or maybe it is? in some regards it is… anyway, after the hike, shar and i went to get a coffee and sat on someone’s front stoop in the shade and a sweet lady i know drove by (on this random street) and waved hello. it keeps happening, i run into people i know…in LA… it’s wonderful…even on a stranger’s stoop, on a strange random street in Hollywood… i run into someone… i remember moving here, feeling so overwhelmed and now LA is a microcosm… does that mean i need to move?

attention!!! this paragraph is written in LOVE and awareness… last night a singer that i look up to insulted me, by accident i’m sure. to compliment another singer who she was introducing me to, she said “she makes our voices look like complete shit,” or something of that nature… interesting choice of words. 1- because why did she feel it necessary to insult herself to compliment someone else. 2-because why did she feel it was necessary to insult me to compliment someone else. and 3-she and i have had this particular conversation about the importance of singers supporting each other and not playing that competition/comparison game (that i -and i thought her- greatly dislike). perhaps, it’s an awareness thing. perhaps people just aren’t truly aware of their words and their merit. and that it’s unnecessary to insult ourselves or someone else to make another person shine. i’m bringing this up not because my feelings were hurt (though they were a bit only because i admire her) but because i want everyone to feel that they don’t have to put themselves down (or another) to allow someone else to shine! we can all shine! no negative words necessary!

i got a message today from a friend who said she really admired how i walk the walk and not just talk the talk. i so appreciated it, it made my day! first of all because she is a person that walks the walk (she even works for FREE THE SLAVES- an amazing non-profit organization), so a compliment from her in this regard holds merit because i admire her and her mission! i was checking myself and making sure that i live up to being someone that “walks the walk”… i’m not perfect but i definitely aim to walk the walk… i am happy to say that when i’ve had opportunities (in particular opportunities in music) that did not align with me, i have chosen not to go that path. i speak and live my truth. yes!!! it’s liberating!

wishing u divine love, compassion, awareness, and the effortless breaking through of glass ceilings!!!

detours to our dreams and lessons learned

our dreams often don’t unfold the way we planned… we can envision our dream becoming a reality, work towards our dream diligently, and trust that the universe (or God) will make everything align and still the dream doesn’t SEEM to come into fruition… but i believe we should dare to adjust our perception and think perhaps this is just a detour, a lesson to be learned before our dream comes true… and perhaps our dream might come true in an even grander way… there are INFINITE POSSIBILITES!!!!…   

now that the album is in the completion phase, i can reflect and see the detours to my dreams and the lessons i’ve learned…. here’s the cliffs notes version on the reflection of how i’ve arrived to where i am today…..i grew up singing, knowing this is what i wanted to do… i loved growing up in North Carolina but was super focused on going to NYC after high school to pursue music. unfortunately, i was discouraged by many to go to a place so big where i would be swallowed up by heathens or something like that…so i ended up staying in NC and going to study opera for 2 years at UNCG… (detour: Greensboro, NC) (lesson learned: don’t let anyone tell you where/how you should live your life)… my music education was valuable and i made some great friendships yet i didn’t really get a sense of the music business in the small town of Greensboro… fortunately, my uncle mario heard me sing at my mom’s wedding and encouraged me to come to LA to sing and live with him there. so july 4, 2001, i left to drive across country to explore this other world (because it IS another world)… the first year here i sang back up gigs, made a pop demo (that was supposed to consist of  music i wrote but ended up being butchered, over processed, and unauthentic) (lesson learned: make music that truly represents who you are and what you’re about)… also, my dad stopped talking to me i think (i’m still not sure) because he was upset that i was dropping out of school-though i never said i was dropping out it was more of a break really- after a year of adjustment to LA, i ended up going to USC’s School of Music and studying jazz (much more fitting for my love of freedom and improvisation in music)… unfortunately, because i had a jealous, insecure boyfriend i didn’t gig that much- he was very threatened by me collaborating with others (lesson learned: don’t let others hold you back from living your dream- it they’re trying to hold you back they don’t really know how to love you)… also, i was working in a burlesque / gentleman’s club to pay for the other half of my tuition that wasn’t covered with grants…(so many lessons learned there – see my blog on empowerment through our sexuality)… not a very healthy environment… after school i took yet another 2 year detour (i didn’t know how to really go for it… and i was scared)… (detour: The William Morris Agency). after learning a ridiculous amount about the music business (my boss was amazing enough to let me sit in on all the meetings with these music biz geniuses), i still found myself unhappy on the business side of things and not doing what i was meant to be doing- SINGING damn it! (lesson learned: sometimes we have to take detours to gain information that will later help us excel in our dreams!!!). so i did some spiritual work (i need many blogs to express the spiritual work i did and am still doing), i read countless books one called “feel the fear and do it anyway” (i know -bad title but good book for me at the time), i reread “the alchemist” (the book that made me believe in signs and influenced my big move to LA in the first place), also took in “the power of the subconscious mind” and absorbed many, many other books… i’m a queen of inspirational reads- i can send you a list just email me … things shifted. i transformed. (well i’m still transforming!) then i just went for it! i even reached out to musicians way beyond my echelon for advice, guidance, and connections. why not? what did i have to lose? (lesson learned: always aim to surround yourself with people that know more than you do in order to grow)… and from reaching out to Prince’s keyboard player, who didn’t have time to produce my record as he was on tour with Prince, i was connected with the super talented Andre De Sant’anna who produced and co-wrote M.U.S.I.C. with me  (a dream come true), which has been the last 2 years of my life (along with way too much for this blog – that’s more bio material 40 years from now)… And out of our musical collaboration a deep love flourished… (lessons learned: our dreams sometimes are intertwined (a dream of love and music), sometimes they don’t come true in the way we expect them to, and sometimes they unfold grander than we imagined)…

now to dream a bigger dream

3 Part Randomness: Brazilian waxes, dancing salsa, and interesting work…

*I just learned that there are men that get Brazilian waxes as well!!! Wow, u really do learn something new every day! And no I will not reveal my sources to this new found information (cough “Jered,” cough)… I hear Cookie at Umberto in Beverly Hills is really good too

**After dancing salsa last night at Monsoon’s in Santa Monica I realized a few things… Salsa is a healer (it’s truly my therapy/my escape/my way of connecting-to my roots, to God, to who I am)… Salsa can be a ridiculous workout- I seriously got WORKED on the dance floor-beyond dirty dancing and dancing with stars- Miguel (I think that’s your name) you are a ridiculously talented salsero- thank you for schooling me! lol!… and last but not least I’m going to create a t-shirt that says “I’m just here to dance” because as sensual as salsa may be it’s just a form of expression not a means to hook up gentlemen!!! Respect the art!

***After looking for some extra work (teaching dance alone isn’t quite cutting it) I found some interesting part time job offers (gotta love LA) including “sales girl for a newly opening medical marijuana dispensary in Hollywood…” (which you need to submit a headshot along with your resume)… and a receptionist position for a gay porn office…

Those of you that know me- know how incredibly random I am so I thought I would share that part of myself with you today! Please share your comments of randomness in your worlds! I’d love to read them!

Peace and Blessings to you!!!

Jeredlicious-he brings the world so much joy