have u ever met someone that always blames the other person for the mishaps in their life? they blame their ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, family members, co-workers etc. etc. etc. ……. instead of taking an honest assessment of their own behavior and owning up to the role that they played in the various negative outcomes… they play the victim…. instead of admitting that in all these negative situations they were the common denominator… now i know that no one is perfect and i can acknowledge times in my life when i’ve been the common denominator, especially in my past in regards to men i’ve chosen… we’ve all been there…life is about learning… growing…
but it’s deeply concerning to me when people do wrong to others yet choose to not take responsibility for their behavior… are they in complete denial? or are they just cowardly and find it easier to run away??? i’m constantly checking myself. where can i be better? how can i treat others with more love? and if anyone came to me (especially a loved one) with a concern of how i was treating them, i would look at myself and take an honest assessment and have the decency and respect to address their concerns… i had a friend who did me wrong recently.. and my loved ones wrong… and i’m fiercely protective of those i love… this person who called herself a friend, refused to even have a conversation about the situations and instead decided to drop our friendship with an unauthentic, pseudo-spiritual email… to end a friendship! i must mention that i was there for this girl when no one else was… in her time of darkness… i also helped connect her with her mentor (my aunt)… i introduced her to my close friends… i welcomed her into my circle… yet when i went through things, she wasn’t there for me. when i had good things happen in my life she didn’t share in my joy… but still, i showed her compassion time and time again… and when i expressed my concerns to her in honesty and love she couldn’t take responsibility and decided to discard me because it was easier than looking at herself in the mirror… in this situation, i have to remember that people like this truly aren’t worth my energy. and i must remember that universal justice prevails and as my boy jered says “karma’s not a bitch unless you are.” sorry, i think that’s hilarious!
also, i have to figure out what are the lessons here… to know that even though i treat others with love, i can’t expect the same love in return…. or perhaps the lesson is that though it’s great to show compassion i need to be more protective of who i allow into my inner circle… it’s also a lesson in forgiveness… and a lesson in focusing on all the immensely deep and beautifully authentic friendships i do have! i’m so grateful! i have so many magnificently loving beings in my world i’m fortunate!
i found out recently that i have a baby brother (which is wonderful) though the means of this discovery were less than desirable… i found this intimate bit of news on f*cking facebook of all places… so crazy… the role the social network plays in our lives… it seems like that this kind of thing would happen to a girl on tv… or in a lifetime movie.. not me. lol! … i came across my father’s wife’s photos and saw a little baby boy that happens to be my little brother! wow! what a blessing! it’s exciting! …..but at the same time it’s kind of sad to think that i had to find this out through facebook. even though my father isn’t in my life, i would’ve hoped that this would inspire him to reach out to me, yet sadly, it didn’t. and i have to accept that my father is who he is…. i can’t take it personally. he treats everyone in his life that way. thus, i’m doing my best to send him the ultimate compassion, love, acceptance, understanding and forgiveness. i have to recognize that he is wounded. that my ex-friend (who de-friended me on facebook btw) is wounded. if they weren’t so wounded they wouldn’t treat others the way that they do. people sometimes act out from their own pain.
so i have to just radiate compassion and love and forgiveness towards them. which can be hard though sometimes to give that towards people who have hurt us. but fortunately, i have SO much love inside of me…i am a warrior of LOVE! and the challenge will only make my heart grow more beautiful.
“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel on the heel that has crushed it.” ~Mark Twain