detours to our dreams and lessons learned

our dreams often don’t unfold the way we planned… we can envision our dream becoming a reality, work towards our dream diligently, and trust that the universe (or God) will make everything align and still the dream doesn’t SEEM to come into fruition… but i believe we should dare to adjust our perception and think perhaps this is just a detour, a lesson to be learned before our dream comes true… and perhaps our dream might come true in an even grander way… there are INFINITE POSSIBILITES!!!!…   

now that the album is in the completion phase, i can reflect and see the detours to my dreams and the lessons i’ve learned…. here’s the cliffs notes version on the reflection of how i’ve arrived to where i am today…..i grew up singing, knowing this is what i wanted to do… i loved growing up in North Carolina but was super focused on going to NYC after high school to pursue music. unfortunately, i was discouraged by many to go to a place so big where i would be swallowed up by heathens or something like that…so i ended up staying in NC and going to study opera for 2 years at UNCG… (detour: Greensboro, NC) (lesson learned: don’t let anyone tell you where/how you should live your life)… my music education was valuable and i made some great friendships yet i didn’t really get a sense of the music business in the small town of Greensboro… fortunately, my uncle mario heard me sing at my mom’s wedding and encouraged me to come to LA to sing and live with him there. so july 4, 2001, i left to drive across country to explore this other world (because it IS another world)… the first year here i sang back up gigs, made a pop demo (that was supposed to consist of  music i wrote but ended up being butchered, over processed, and unauthentic) (lesson learned: make music that truly represents who you are and what you’re about)… also, my dad stopped talking to me i think (i’m still not sure) because he was upset that i was dropping out of school-though i never said i was dropping out it was more of a break really- after a year of adjustment to LA, i ended up going to USC’s School of Music and studying jazz (much more fitting for my love of freedom and improvisation in music)… unfortunately, because i had a jealous, insecure boyfriend i didn’t gig that much- he was very threatened by me collaborating with others (lesson learned: don’t let others hold you back from living your dream- it they’re trying to hold you back they don’t really know how to love you)… also, i was working in a burlesque / gentleman’s club to pay for the other half of my tuition that wasn’t covered with grants…(so many lessons learned there – see my blog on empowerment through our sexuality)… not a very healthy environment… after school i took yet another 2 year detour (i didn’t know how to really go for it… and i was scared)… (detour: The William Morris Agency). after learning a ridiculous amount about the music business (my boss was amazing enough to let me sit in on all the meetings with these music biz geniuses), i still found myself unhappy on the business side of things and not doing what i was meant to be doing- SINGING damn it! (lesson learned: sometimes we have to take detours to gain information that will later help us excel in our dreams!!!). so i did some spiritual work (i need many blogs to express the spiritual work i did and am still doing), i read countless books one called “feel the fear and do it anyway” (i know -bad title but good book for me at the time), i reread “the alchemist” (the book that made me believe in signs and influenced my big move to LA in the first place), also took in “the power of the subconscious mind” and absorbed many, many other books… i’m a queen of inspirational reads- i can send you a list just email me :)… things shifted. i transformed. (well i’m still transforming!) then i just went for it! i even reached out to musicians way beyond my echelon for advice, guidance, and connections. why not? what did i have to lose? (lesson learned: always aim to surround yourself with people that know more than you do in order to grow)… and from reaching out to Prince’s keyboard player, who didn’t have time to produce my record as he was on tour with Prince, i was connected with the super talented Andre De Sant’anna who produced and co-wrote M.U.S.I.C. with me  (a dream come true), which has been the last 2 years of my life (along with way too much for this blog – that’s more bio material 40 years from now)… And out of our musical collaboration a deep love flourished… (lessons learned: our dreams sometimes are intertwined (a dream of love and music), sometimes they don’t come true in the way we expect them to, and sometimes they unfold grander than we imagined)…

now to dream a bigger dream 🙂

dream

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