celebrating INTERDEPENDENCE

though the two books i’m reading at the moment “Aphrodite’s Daughters” and “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” differ greatly on subject matter (one is about how a woman’s sexual experience affects her spiritual unfolding and the other is a super famous guide on personal change)… they both touch on the importance of INTERDEPENDENCE. our society is very focused on being independent- which is a beautiful thing! however, Covey (author of “the 7 habits…”) challenges us to think in a new way- to create interdependence (not dependence where you must completely rely on others for your needs and wants) as interdependent people “combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.”  he even goes as far to say that interdependence trumps independence as a more mature and advanced concept because to be interdependent you first must be independent yet your realize that even at your best you can accomplish more together than alone. Also, as emotionally interdependent, one can “derive a great sense of worth within, but also recognizes the need for love, for giving, and for receiving love from others.” “As an interdependent person, one has the opportunity to share oneself deeply, meaningfully, with others, and have access to the vast resources and potential of other human beings.” Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make… interesting…. on the spiritual tip we can relate this to the power of the collective love energy we all share and are connected by…

Bonheim (author of Aphrodite’s Daughters), touches on the subject in the form of partnership… “as children, we used to play a game called tunnel. We would get down on our hands and knees, side by side, forming a tunnel with our bodies. Then the last in line would detach from the tunnel and crawl through the dark passageway of whispering, breathing, laughing bodies. At other times we would play leapfrog, vaulting over each other like drunk grasshoppers. In such games, children enact a basic truth. We are all tunnels, doorways, thresholds, and stepping-stones for one another. We evolve not in isolation but in community, each person taking off with the help of many others. Partnership is an adult from of leapfrog. In our time of exaggerated individualism, it reminds us that there are certain types of gateways and tunnels and bridges we can create alone, and others we can create only in conjunction with others.”

so as a very independent woman, i’m consciously celebrating my INTERDEPENDENCE!!!!

maybe we should create an interdependence day?! 🙂

interdependent ladies (me with the lovely Aneesah Williams)

interdependent ladies

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4 thoughts on “celebrating INTERDEPENDENCE

  1. sammybgood says:

    I agree that interdepence is an easy concept to grasp once true independence has been attained. How do you know when you’re truly independent? I feel myself an independent person but cringe at the idea of sharing my life with others out of fear of losing absolute freedom over my life (though when I’m around others, I’m always at my best). Is interdependence all about compromise? I would assume that some sort of affinity or alignment with someone with similar intentions is crucial for achieving your goals without having to compromise personal freedom.

    • andreebelle says:

      good questions!!!! covey defines independence as “the paradigm of I- I can do it; I am responsible; I am self-reliant; I can choose.” you can make it on your own. you are validated from within… he also points out “much of our current empahsis on independence is a reaction to dependence- to having others control us, define us, use us, and manipulate us.” so maybe knowing that to have interdependence in our lives we don’t have to allow those negative aspects of dependence to come forth and we can still be independent people … we’re just so comfortable with our independence we are allowing this kind of deeper communion with others (interdependence) which will enrich our lives…

    • andreebelle says:

      i don’t think i truly answered your ? though… as i read on i’ll let u know more about the relation between interdependence and compromise 🙂

      • sammybgood says:

        Interdependence vs Compromise…the difference between greatness and destitue (I think). Thanks for sharing, I’ll keep posted.

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