Tag Archives: a course in miracles

A Love Story. Part 2.

She kept his side of the bed open as if he might return. Made coffee every morning just as he instructed. Strong / solid / delicious. Enough for two. Listen for the change of pitch in the grinder. 2 teaspoons of ground coffee per cup in the french press. a tiny bit of coconut oil. 2 and half teaspoons of coconut sugar per cup… She dreamt of him. Cried for him. Coated her love for him in hatred. Drunk or praying, acting a fool or lighting candles. Went to 3 healers, 1 psychic, started A Course in Miracles, kundalini on Mondays. Singing would make the pain fade, transmute from gray to gold, to black then blue. Music her savior. How high is too high for an energetic fence? He wanted to build a fortress around her. To protect or to own?  Yet he wouldn’t claim what was his. He called her his queen but for his queen he would not fight. She doubted her worth only to find it again only to doubt it again. A shadow of a once phenomenal woman. Though she’s lost, she’s more than what they know. Multifaceted feminine energy. Complex nuances devoured mindlessly. Vulnerability. Cut wide open.  Even friends can claim you as pray in a tender moment. STOP.  He apologized later. Doesn’t make it right. It’s a shame you cannot unfuck someone. Then there was a sweetheart, teddy bear made her smile when she was drowning. Should’ve kept it on the homie tip just riding bikes and laughing, doing karaoke. It was just so nice to have someone CLAIM her, be proud of her, want to be around her all the time. But nothing healed the ache. Nothing would erase him. If it weren’t for the Earth angels/ sisters/ girlfriends / heroes she might never have gotten up off the floor.. I feel ill. This has gotten ugly. I can’t blot out the things you’ve said. Your lenses don’t allow you to see my light. Partner or servant? Why do you withhold? Made to feel less than… I’m your whore that you no longer engage. Eternal rejection. I’m put on pause until it’s convenient for you to acknowledge. This is no life. This is not the love I dreamed of.

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our deepest fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

this inspiring quote is by Marianne Williamson from her book, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles. i’m so excited to hear her speak tonight! she’s doing weekly lectures at The Regent Showcase Theatre 614 North La Brea suggested donation $15 but NO ONE is turned away-she get’s it!

i don’t really have a fear of failure anymore, in face i feel quite certain of my purpose to inspire many through music. lately, i have in a way feared… success… how it will affect my life….now i’m releasing that fear “of my light” so to speak! i’m going to fearlessly, consistently radiate! 🙂

i remember reading this quote years ago, and now it resonates with me in a new way… i LOVE this how her words remind us that we are all meant to SHINE, we are all instruments of inspiration! let us embrace our beauty and gifts. let us recognize our divinity!

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