Tag Archives: growth

why i LOVE my band so much

* the honesty- there is a beautiful comfort level that allows us to communicate in truth- for example, when bryan said, “if we cover ‘gracias a la vida’ this way i’m going to f*cking kill myself” i so appreciated him speaking his truth! yes it’s hardcore but it’s real and i value that. honesty is caring.

*they actually asked to rehearse more!!!!! yes! i’m not kidding! (thank you alberto) what an incredible dedication to our growth!

*they have all played with superstar artists and LEGENDS…. performed at famous venues like carnegie hall, madison square garden, hollywood bowl, the greek, staples center, etc. etc. and they never make me feel like i am less than they are. in fact they encourage me and my growth and even sometimes compliment me! wow!

*when my dough is a little short they have accepted payments of my homemade food, love, and verbal gratitude. and they trust that when i make millions they are getting theirs! 🙂

*at some point and time they have all seen me cry (i’m a pisces, latina, female, artist – come on now!) and they always give me love and have my back if anyone tries to mess with me (thank u again mr. velasco) and believe in the beauty of my dreams (especially you de sant’anna)

*i truly believe in all of them! they are so beyond gifted that i want the BEST for them. i want them to fulfill every single musical aspiration and inspiration and more.

*they are multi-talented. not only have they mastered their main instrument, they play other instruments and they write and mix and engineer and produce. and they do them all well. it’s kind of crazy.

*they all have brilliant minds and creative hearts. they are musically fearless- not afraid to try new things, explore the songs in different realms. they hold it down. they give me this ridiculous foundation on which to elevate the crowd from- it’s powerful!

just wanted to send y’all a love note. i’m forever grateful for all you teach me and all that you share with me. you’ve all helped me grow so much. i love that you are a part of my journey and there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you all! can’t wait for the world tour!



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the common denominator, karma’s not a bitch unless u are, f*cking facebook, forgiveness makes your HEART more beautiful

have u ever met someone that always blames the other person for the mishaps in their life? they blame their ex-boyfriends, ex-friends, family members, co-workers etc. etc. etc. ……. instead of taking an honest assessment of their own behavior and owning up to the role that they played in the various negative outcomes… they play the victim…. instead of admitting that in all these negative situations they were the common denominator… now i know that no one is perfect and i can acknowledge times in my life when i’ve been the common denominator, especially in my past in regards to men i’ve chosen… we’ve all been there…life is about learning… growing…

but it’s deeply concerning to me when people do wrong to others yet choose to not take responsibility for their behavior… are they in complete denial? or are they just cowardly and find it easier to run away??? i’m constantly checking myself. where can i be better? how can i treat others with more love? and if anyone came to me (especially a loved one) with a concern of how i was treating them, i would look at myself and take an honest assessment and have the decency and respect to address their concerns… i had a friend who did me wrong recently.. and my loved ones wrong… and i’m fiercely protective of those i love…  this person who called herself a friend, refused to even have a conversation about the situations and instead decided to drop our friendship with an unauthentic,  pseudo-spiritual email… to end a friendship! i must mention that i was there for this girl when no one else was… in her time of darkness… i also helped connect her with her mentor (my aunt)… i introduced her to my close friends… i welcomed her into my circle…  yet when i went through things, she wasn’t there for me. when i had good things happen in my life she didn’t share in my joy… but still, i showed her compassion time and time again… and when i expressed my concerns to her in honesty and love she couldn’t take responsibility and decided to discard me because it was easier than looking at herself in the mirror… in this situation, i have to remember that people like this truly aren’t worth my energy. and i must remember that universal justice prevails and as my boy jered says “karma’s not a bitch unless you are.” sorry, i think that’s hilarious!

also, i have to figure out what are the lessons here… to know that even though i treat others with love, i can’t expect the same love in return…. or perhaps the lesson is that though it’s great to show compassion i need to be more protective of who i allow into my inner circle… it’s also a lesson in forgiveness… and a lesson in focusing on all the immensely deep and beautifully authentic friendships i do have! i’m so grateful! i have so many magnificently loving beings in my world 🙂 i’m fortunate!


i found out recently that i have a baby brother (which is wonderful) though the means of this discovery were less than desirable… i found this intimate bit of news on f*cking facebook of all places… so crazy… the role the social network plays in our lives… it seems like that this kind of thing would happen to a girl on tv… or in a lifetime movie.. not me. lol! … i came across my father’s wife’s photos and saw a little baby boy that happens to be my little brother! wow! what a blessing! it’s exciting! …..but at the same time it’s kind of sad to think that i had to find this out through facebook. even though my father isn’t in my life, i would’ve hoped that this would inspire him to reach out to me, yet sadly, it didn’t. and i have to accept that my father is who he is…. i can’t take it personally. he treats everyone in his life that way. thus, i’m doing my best to send him the ultimate compassion, love, acceptance, understanding and forgiveness. i have to recognize that he is wounded. that my ex-friend (who de-friended me on facebook btw) is wounded. if they weren’t so wounded they wouldn’t treat others the way that they do. people sometimes act out from their own pain.

so i have to just radiate compassion and love and forgiveness towards them. which can be hard though sometimes to give that towards people who have hurt us. but fortunately, i have SO much love inside of me…i am a warrior of LOVE! and the challenge will only make my heart grow more beautiful.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel on the heel that has crushed it.” ~Mark Twain

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thank you in advance

dear universe,

thank you in advance for my continued growth as a singer, songwriter, performer, dancer, poet, and revolutionary. thank you for the immense musical success coming my way that will allow me to be a greater catalyst for positive change in our world, a voice of inspiration for others to live their dreams. thank you for allowing me to travel to everywhere my heart desires and have incredible amazing experiences. thank you for my beautiful relationships with my family/friends/creative community that are supportive, encouraging, uplifting, honest, passionate, adventurous, loving, and growth filled. thank you for the divine health, overflowing abundance, and creativity in my life. thank you for endless inspiration and infinite possibilities.

with immense love and gratitude,


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Be fearless, be humble, give LOVE in all you do!!! My interview! :)

After doing the interviews with the band for the album release show week, Dre had the brilliant idea of me answering my own interview questions… 

-what’s your 1st musical memory?

Singing and dancing to Miami Sound Machine’s “Conga.” I thought I was Gloria in my living room! 🙂


-what’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened while you are on stage?

I haven’t really done that many shows… I guess the craziest thing was our album release show! The energy was crazy! There was so much love in the room. It was a good crazy! 


-what’s your ultimate dream in music?

My musical intention on my site sums it up beautifully: to inspire adventure, creativity, and the inner artist- to give praise, to heal, to manifest love, to allow you to feel your own truth and power through my voice, to make music that evokes emotion, thought, mood, and passion, to connect with others on levels they didn’t even know existed within themselves, or simply to create something that you can shake your ass to…


-if you weren’t doing music what would you be doing?

I would be the next Oprah! Lol! Seriously I’d do the things I already do but in a grander way- dance, write poetry, inspire others to live their dreams…. 


-songs that changed your life…

Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On,” it’s soulful AND conscious… Donny Hathaway’s version of “A Song for You…” Ella Fitzgerald singing live “Mack the Knife”-I’ve never heard another singer use her voice as an instrument the way she does… Oh there’s too many… 


-most influential artists to you and why?

Prince (his music is beyond sexy), Erykah Badu and Jill Scott-soulful/poetic/conscious writers and singers- I adore them!, Nina Simone/Billie Holiday/Ella- their unique interpretation of the lyric, their tone, their phrasing…. Bjork-she’s innovative, takes risks, she’s her own entity…Chaka Khan is fierce… Stevie Wonder-such an incredible song writer… I love Yerba Buena- how they fuse so many genres with Latin music. James Brown- I saw him live-puts on such incredibly electric performances, so funky. I could go on and on and on….


-what makes an amazing song?

A song that makes you feel deeply…


-what’s your theme song?

I wish it was Hendrix’s “Foxy Lady” lol! But at the moment I’m more Gnarls Barkley “Crazy!” lol! I don’t know. It changes. You tell me! 


-do you have musical nickname?

Not a musical one, but my nickname is Bella.


-what song were you most likely conceived to?

My parents were into jazz… hmm… but then again I was conceived in the Caribbean… so…


-first concert you ever went to?

New Kids on the Block… but I’ve redeemed myself by going to incredible shows ever since I promise!!! 🙂


-first album u ever bought?

I would just borrow from my parents they had a great collection.. the first single I bought was TLC’s “Ain’t too Proud to Beg!”


-how can we revolutionize music? 

By creating music that is true to who we are. By exposing ourselves to music that is not just mainstream.


-indie or major (what’s the way to go?)

After interning at 2 major labels in college, I really don’t think that most labels do very much. They have the connections that CAN catapult an artist to stardom but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they will. An artist can get their album shelved even if they are signed…or if the album is released they might not get the funding/attention/marketing to get it to the masses… I’d love to be free of all that… autonomous like Prince. He’s revolutionary as a music business man as well… But if I was offered an amazing deal I would be open to the possibilities…


-what inspires you musically?

Reading something inspiring, exposing myself to new things, having adventures, my community of amazing musicians, artists with something unique to express, love, passion, dancing, altered states (occasionally), spirit, growth…


-what can an artist do (that you’re backing) to make your job easy and fun?

Well I’ve done backing vocals… and usually back ground singers are the least respected in the band it seems. So just showing respect. As a singer- don’t be afraid to let your back ground singers shine and be who they are – there’s enough room for everyone. I’ve been lucky with the performers I’ve worked with. 


-what’s your favorite song from the album?

“Moments” or “Te Necesito” are probably my favorites. They are poetic and intimate and sensual. I love what “Variety Pack” is about- it’s a sexy female empowerment song! “Discombobulator” is so out and funky…. and I love the vibe of “Overflow.” But for some reason my bond is strongest with “Moments” and “Te Necesito.”


-advice for up and coming players?

Be fearless! Be humble! Give love in all you do!


-what do you hope for the show?

I wanted to elevate the room with LOVE and inspiration! And we succeeded! It was a beautiful first show!!! 

Album Release Show at Dakota Lounge

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Your Future Self…

Zen Buddhists believe that an oak tree is brought into creation by two forces at the same time. There is the acorn from which it all begins, the seed which holds all the promise and potential, which grows into the tree. Everybody can see that. But only a few can recognize that there is another force operating here as well- the future tree itself, which wants so badly to exist that it pulls the acorn into being, drawing the seedling forth with longing out of the void, guiding the evolution from nothingness to maturity. In this respect, say the Zens, it is the oak tree that creates the very acorn from which it was born. (excerpt from Eat Pray Love) I love this concept… that our future selves are somehow encouraging us to evolve into our fullest potential, and deepest sense of peace and happiness.

Clearlight Symphony

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