Tag Archives: poetry

miracle

Looked in the mirror today. Not like I usually do. I looked deeper. I forgot that I was beautiful. I miss the way u used to look at me. U drank me in. I felt like a queen. U took your time. Bobby Womack would’ve been proud. I light candles with prayers that your words and actions will dance a dance that would make my abuela proud. I have given everything. Destroyed and created universes. My heart has learned to replenish itself with cloaks of faith that bleed out indifference. A birthday card from a year and a half ago, in the drawer beside my bed…wonder if well have that sexcation. I have revirginized myself for you. U used to clown men who don’t put in WORK and now you’re collecting unemployment checks. I have placed myself on your alter time and time again. I have done everything in the power of my minds eye. I have changed my thermostat to happiness only please. I read to expand. I own my shit. I know my flaws. I work to grow this garden of mine. This garden of magnificent dreams. Dreams that you have helped design. I have diminished my shine unwillingly. I still see u. Beneath the layers of this. I have developed super hero powers to see thru the walls you’ve put between us. Ive cut through the jungle of our past with a razor sharp machete only to come face to face with a ghost of nonchalance. I’ve painted my skin every color of gold at the chance that you would engulf yourself in me once again. antique with cracks. Vibrant as the summer sun yet you seem to be more intrigued by winter. Maybe its cause of your 90s jacket that you love to wear. I’ve lost my mind. I’m going to let Salem Moqueca put a leash on me and walk me around the park. I want to bury myself in the sands of time and awaken reborn into to a world where you show me the LOVE that I know is within you. Bliss permeating every cell. Remember that? Conversations must be had with rainbows in our mouths, COURAGE IN OUR HEARTS, and ruby encrusted shoes. There’s no place like home. My hearts a gypsy but not by choice, knocking at your door, looking for an open room for for rest, for peace, for acceptance, for solidity, for nourishment. Suffering from malnutrition but it still beats strong. Another continent, 3 times zones, and 4 days without your voice yet that’s still not enough…….. space. Thought of moving to another galaxy, maybe that would suffice. I ask if you miss me. That upsets u! U feel pressure from me being on the love tip. Yet you say you love me. That you have never loved a woman as much as you love me. Should I be silent? Should I keep it surface? Should I dim the truth of who I am!? A soul, a woman who expresses and needs love as I do air and music and dance and laughter and freedom and joy. I’m singing your song and I can’t find the pocket. No matter how hard I try. You keep switching up the time on me. There’s no metronome to meet this madness. We need a miracle. Only God can heal this.

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The Words (part one)

her mother would say the words so often that it almost became her exhale. exhausting their power with frequent repetition.

her father would skim over the words like a little boy skips stones over a wide, glassy bed of water. he infused them with humor, an uncomfortable utterance.

today the kids are nonchalant with the words. they use them when someone did them a favor, got them out of a sticky situation… they use them to pay homage to food, technology and other material deities. “oh my GOD… (insert words here in valley girl voice!)”

she honors the words though she’s used them a plenty, she bears their flag with honor, holds a space for their depth in every molecule of her essence. she prays and makes sacrifices to their divinity…

once she said the words first to a man. only once. yet he couldn’t find the courage to reply…. he withheld the words like . yet she needs the words. the words give her peace. if the world ends tomorrow would he wish he said them? she wonders. she wants to retract the vulnerable, accented words because she’s so exposed now… uncovered heart beating. but it’s too late now. she can only hope that one day he’ll return her sentiment.

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2 universes

2 universes collide and they become one

taught each other to sing in their native tounges

love transcension beyond galaxies and outer space

the rings of his planet held her in place

he said i love every molecule of you

even your imperfections cause baby that’s your truth

she said with you i feel infinite

now i’m seeing in colors that before didn’t exist

now everything is more beautiful

cause this entanglement is multidimensional

their love challenged the world’s perception,

innovated love’s metaphysical expression,

he spoke to her in melodies and rhythm

and she’d blanket herself warm and deep within them

 

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MOS DEF u speak to my heart!

‘Her eyes sparkled like lights along the new city. Her lips pursed as if her breath was too sweet and full for her mouth to hold. I said, “You are the beautiful, distress of mathematics.” I said, “For you, I would peel open the clouds like new fruit. And give you lightning and thunder as a dowry. I would make the sky shed all of it’s stars like rain. And I would clasp the constellations across your waist. And I would make the heavens your cape. And they would be pleased to cover you.’  -MOS DEF u speak to my heart!

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a lil puerto rican girl from the south

a lil puerto rican girl from the south

sometimes i don’t know when 2 shut my mouth

yeah but i said what u were thinkin

yeah and i’d say it even if i wasn’t drinking

arroz con pollo and biscuits n gravy

sweet talking fiesty silly cutie sexy baby

yes or no but never feelin maybe

yes i’m insane, but it’s the good kind of crazy!

platanos and mac and cheese

open minded ready to get down to please

met this sexy brazilian to my heart he has the keys

did some ayahuasca now clearly i can see

there’s the truth vibrating in u and me

i believe in authenticity deeply

i know that u can reach the stars

talents from ur soul that’ll take u far

we all have means to channel the divine

fearlessness in the way we shine

i know it’s my destiny from my heart to sing songs

inspire the masses my whole life long

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i sang him a song

i sang him a song but he didn’t listen deeply.

i called out to him but he didn’t respond clearly.

i danced for him but he didn’t watch closely.

i wrote him some lines but he wouldn’t read them lovingly.

i looked in his eyes but he wouldn’t meet my gaze with intensity.

i gave up a man who loved me but he couldn’t rid himself of women that never cared for him and disrespected we.

i took the time to cook him a meal but he inhaled it quickly.

i offered myself to him and he ravaged me but without connection.

i declared my love for him to the world but when it came to the world he didn’t have my back.

i created years for him but he would not give me a day.

i expressed my concerns like a broken record. over and over and over…. till i was about over it. the needle broke. i grew exhausted and drained to the point where i would have out of body experiences looking down on myself acting insane. crying so many tears of unrequited love… starvation… till i could barely recapture those feelings of love’s elation… how to change the situation?…i know there’s adoration but life’s too fleeting to live on rations of passion…and when passion is the air you breathe; it’s a necessity to life. so what do u do when he has your heart?  u can flip it in your head this way and that. this way and that. zig-zag rationalizing over analyzing. but i know love is the only nourishment that truly feeds. meditate. get on your prayer mat. what comes next? there’s no relationship if u can’t relate to me deeply, if u can’t recognize me in all my splendor and express my light to the sun. i’ve removed all masks. i’ve removed all clothes. i’m naked. i’ve shown you all of me-deepest darkest insecurities turned goddess of love beauty music and ecstasy. what will become of us??

i sang to him and he was moved profoundly.

i called out to him and he replied conscientiously.

i danced for him and he became my drum.

i wrote him lines and he authored me a sonnet.

i looked in his eyes and saw God staring back.

i gave up a man who loved me and he exiled  women of negativity.

i cooked for him and he savored every flavor with gratitude.

i offered myself to him and we became one.

i declared my love for him to the world and he expressively showed the world that i was his world.

i created years for him and he promised me lifetimes…

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i.n.l.o.v.e.

today i went to the beach with my love… and i was thinking of the craziness that love is… and how it’s the strangest things that we appreciate about the people we love… like today, dre used his hands to create a sun-dial to see what time it was… (i believe this came from his boy scout days)… i love that! it was the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen him do.  and in the car on the way home we were listening to Salt-n-Pepa’s “Push It” and he was like “listen…listen to the cow bell… that’s what makes the song sexy.” lol!!!!! those are the things that years from now i’ll look back on and smile. or the other day when i had all my jewelry out on the counter that i had worn the night before and he turned the pieces artistically into a smiley face… or the times when i’m sad and he’ll slow dance with me to no music. nothing is perfect. no one is perfect. but love is perfect.. even within the imperfection of us as human beings… our love is perfect.

“i love u the way billie bends her notes- fearlessly… and with loving intention, i gaze at u the way stevie sees music… and with feeling in amazement of ur genius, i dream of u in a level of consciousness that the enlightened monk meditated for years to find… my heart recognized ur soul and it was love at 1st encounter...” from my diary date unknown…


kiss

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