Tag Archives: superstar

everything that’s good within me comes from my mother

i remember when my parents first got divorced, to survive my mother worked 4 jobs: the standard 9-5 at Westinghouse, she sold nu-skin, did real estate on the weekends and at night, and sang in a cover band for a little extra cash. she’s the kind of person that if you compliment something of hers she’ll offer to give it to you. she will seriously give you the last dollar in her pocket. if i ever needed anything, she’d find a means to make it happen. her generosity knows no bounds… it’s quite amazing how thoughtful, kind, open and giving she is especially considering what she’s been through.

my mother endured physical and verbal abuse, and multiple infidelities by my father… i remember the cops coming to my house a few times during my childhood… things got ugly and dark and violent… yet she somehow always radiated such a loving energy and light. not that she’s perfect, as no one is perfect. i think sometimes she almost loved my father too much or perhaps herself not enough with how she held onto the relationship… but she IS this beautiful force. an example of strength and love. my mother taught me to see the best in people.  even the good in my father-his brilliance, his creativity, his work ethic, his talent and humor. she helped me to find the love, light, and lessons in the complexities of life.

sometimes she would help me find the lesson with a beating… yes i got hit with belts, a phone, or whatever else was in my mom’s hand when she was upset and rightfully so (i was a little bad ass child- in middle school especially)… the summer after 6th grade i started smoking and stole cigarettes from the market… after my mom discovered this, i remember her making me go the manager and admit through tears my crime and return the open package of cigarettes… pretty soon after i stopped smoking… i also recall her finding out i was staying at a boyfriend’s house when i said i was somewhere else and her pulling me out of his house by my hair and driving down the street at 90 mph on the way home, beyond livid… perhaps physical violence wasn’t the BEST way to handle these situations but i appreciate my mother being so tough with me. she didn’t play around when it came to me acting right. no matter what happened she always expressed so much love for me, always… with what i witnessed as a child i could’ve turned out very differently. instead of  getting into serious trouble, i flipped the script and became a straight A student and super involved in school… i don’t know if that would’ve happened if my mother didn’t love me as much as she did.

other wonderful things about her…she has great manners which she also inspired in me. we are grateful and express it often. she truly appreciates nature in way that i’m just starting to… she calls me everytime she sees a deer in her back yard and describes it’s beautiful nature so lovingly. she is one with the earth. though she’s surrounded in the conservativeness of the south, i know a bit of hippie still resides within her. she loves art and food and throwing parties and dancing and music. she’s a beautiful singer. she taught me that singing is all about singing from your soul. she doesn’t even comprehend how people sing for other reasons… it’s all about the love….she wears her heart on her sleeve. she has such a refreshing honesty and genuine sweetness. she radiates! she’s like a mini version of the sun, with all that light within her. my favorite moments are when she lets herself shine to her fullest capacity.

oh and did i mention that she is absolutely gorgeous- she has golden flawless skin, green/blue eyes that sparkle with warmth and sometimes mischief, the longest legs in the world, she’s curvy, has perfectly wavy hair (not like my out of control waves lol), and she could seriously be a hand model…. oh and she has the perfect eye brows that she’s never once had to pluck, as well as the world’s most adorable nose…

i love that my mother supported me in finding my own way of being spiritual… i think she’s the only catholic i know that believes that reincarnation is a possibility. my mother believes that God is man. i believe God transcends having a sex. but she is cool with me believing how i believe. and we both value having a spiritual connection in the love that we share.

my mother encouraged me to take a stand against racism and sexism which i appreciate. though she now says i can be too “extreme” or “radical” with my platforms. but i love that she first inspired that within me. and i think she still has some of that radicalness within her…

other random love thoughts… she believes it’s this differences in people that makes us all beautiful. she appreciates perspective. my mother is so sweet sometimes that people don’t realize how intelligent and deep she can be. she can get philosopical. i miss talking with her. i hate that we live 3,000 miles away. i hate that i only saw her twice last year. i need to hurry up and become a superstar so i can buy her a beautiful little house in santa barbara so i can see her more… i digress…

i could go on and on with how wonderful she is… there are so many little special things about her that a blog can’t do her magnificence justice…

mama if u read this (i know you’re not into going online that much) i want you to know that you mean the world to me. your beauty, your depth, your heart, your strength inspire me. everything that is good within me comes from you. i love you.

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Dance With Me

The most pop oriented track of the album… It’s fun, feel good, jamiroquai inspired… It’s all about elevating yourself through dance…. So you can sing along…

Music unites the human race/So let the melody take you to that place/Where you feel so good, so high/Come on baby dance to feel alive/Spreading positivity/We are one yeah you and me

This requires all your senses/Dance with me/Dance with me/So let down your defenses/Dance with me/Dance with me/This requires all your senses (baby)/Dance with me/Dance with me/So let down your defenses (yeah)/Dance with me/Dance with me

To receive you must allow/Sometimes I don’t know how/But I’ll find a way/Dance into the break of day/This requires all your senses/So let down your defenses/Baby you’re a superstar/Burn bright and show them who you are

This requires all your senses/Dance with me/Dance with me/So let down your defenses/Dance with me/Dance with me/This requires all your senses (baby)/Dance with me/Dance with me/So let down your defenses (yeah)/Dance with me/Dance with me

(one of my dreams- to be the dancer in the ipod ads!) 


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today I noticed that the word UNITY is in the word community which brought me to  deeper contemplation of community… community is truly us coming together as one…and though human beings are very individualistic we cannot deny how interdependent we are…. and we have to honor the power of commUNITY! i’ve been experiencing the benefits of commUNITY more and more as my awareness has grown in commUNITY… a few weeks ago I shared my first Shabbat dinner with some friends and saw how beautifully tight the Jewish community is- and how coming together for tradition and spirituality really strengthens them as a people. also, without my artistic community, I would not have been able to have such an incredible album- the brilliant musicians that played on M.U.S.I.C. play for world famous artists and shared their talents because they are part of my community! what a blessing to have a community! the super genius creative web designer for M.U.S.I.C., Josh Kohlmeier- part of the community… the phenomenal photo shoot by Piper Ferguson (who has done shoots for superstars) took the time to do a shoot with little ol’ me- cause she’s part of the community… the psychedelic goddess album art was created by Jon Marro all because he’s part of the community… I didn’t always have a community…I knew that I wanted to connect with like minded artists- artists about uplifting and inspiring others through their medium… artists that were positive, supportive, creative, loving… and thus I put that intention out into the universe. Oooh UNIverse (another word that speaks that we are one (one=uni))… I created a manifestation group with my girls (more on that later) to have a positive female force where we share our dreams/hopes/challenges/ideas and help each other in so many ways… commUNITY is a beautiful thing! if you don’t feel you have a community find one or better yet create one!  as amazing as we are as individuals- together as a collective we are POWERFUL! ONE LOVE!

one of my favorite quotes “BY ELEVATING THE LIVES OF OTHERS YOUR LIFE REACHEST ITS HIGHEST DIMENSIONS.”  elevate yourself and others through commUNITY! thank you for being a part of my commUNITY!


boys UNIted in prayer…

boys praying

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